woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
