thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
