Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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