so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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You. Win. At. Life.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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