sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
