If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
