so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
