At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
