Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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