So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
