Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
