this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
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