My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
