Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Fuck appropriateness.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
