There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
