Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
