He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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