Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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