GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
