M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
