Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
