Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
