youre lurking in front of me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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