Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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