Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
