your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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