Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
