We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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