I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You're like the curious george of whores
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize