I would go down on you faster than GM stock
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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