I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
