glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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