her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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