respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
