Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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