he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
