Midget sex pt 2 tonight
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize