dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Terrible idea I love it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
