I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
