Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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