Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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