what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What drink are we having for lunch?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
