I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
