So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
