Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I did not marry a roomba.
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