I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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