just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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