I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
