Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My vagina is officially offended.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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