I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
