and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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