Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
