It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize