i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
