is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
