I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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