i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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