Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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