His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
