I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
