When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
