More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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