i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
