Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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