I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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