it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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