pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
