I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
