She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
