I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
