yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
worst night to have a conscience
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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