Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
BRING THE BAGELS
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
