This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
