Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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